What School Counselors Really Do (And How They Can Support Your Child’s Mental Health)
If your child is struggling—emotionally, socially, academically—you’re probably looking for help wherever you can find it. And often, the first place you’ll hear mentioned is the school counselor. But what exactly does a school counselor do? Can they really help with anxiety? Depression? Executive functioning issues? Or are they just the person handing out college brochures? Let’s break it down, parent to parent.
The Unsung Role of the School Counselor
The best school counselors for mental health professionals are doing a lot more than scheduling classes or coordinating college fairs. They're often the first line of support when something feels “off” with a student. The ones noticing changes in mood, attendance, peer conflict, or performance—and quietly stepping in to check on your kid when no one else sees what’s going on.
They’re the bridge between school and home. The steady presence who sees your child not just as a student, but as a person. When used well, school counselors for mental health can be an incredible resource. Not just for your teen—but for you.
What Can a School Counselor Help With?
Depending on the school (and the counselor’s training), here are some common ways they support students with mental health or emotional needs:
Short-term emotional check-ins
Support with executive functioning and school stress
Referrals for therapy or mental health assessments
Conflict mediation with teachers or peers
Communicating with teachers to advocate for accommodations
Coordinating 504 or IEP plans if needed
No, a school counselor isn’t a therapist. But they can absolutely be part of your child’s support team.
Why So Many Parents Miss This Opportunity
A lot of families don’t reach out to school counselors for mental health until things are really bad. Not because they don’t care—but because they just don’t know what’s possible. We’ve had parents say:
“I thought counselors only helped with college.”
“I didn’t want to bother them.”
“I didn’t realize my kid was struggling that much.”
If that’s you—it’s okay. You’re not behind. But if your gut is telling you something is off with your child, don’t wait. Reach out. The earlier you loop in support, the better.
Signs It’s Time to Get the Counselor Involved
You might want to schedule a check-in with the counselor if your child is:
Avoiding school, or suddenly asking to stay home more often
Struggling to focus, complete work, or stay organized
Withdrawing socially, or having peer conflicts
Showing signs of anxiety, depression, or high stress
Reporting that teachers don’t “get” them or aren’t being supportive
Going through a major life transition (divorce, loss, move, etc.)
Even if you’re not sure how serious it is, talking to the counselor can help you get a clearer picture.
What to Say When You Reach Out
We get it—it can feel awkward to ask for help. You don’t want to be that parent. You don’t want to overreact. But here’s the truth: you are your child’s best advocate. And there’s no harm in checking in. Here’s a sample email you can send:
Subject: Support for [Your Child’s Full Name]
Hi [Counselor’s Name],
I’m reaching out because I’ve noticed [your child’s name] has been struggling lately with [brief description: school avoidance, anxiety, falling behind, etc.].
I’m not sure what support is available, but I’d really appreciate a chance to connect and see how we might work together to help.
Are you available for a quick phone call or meeting this week?
Thanks so much,
[Your Name]
Partnering with the Counselor (Not Just Using Them)
The best outcomes happen when parents and school staff work together. This means:
Following up consistently—don’t assume one conversation is enough
Asking what the school can do and what you can do at home
Being open to feedback—even if it’s hard to hear
Advocating calmly and clearly, not emotionally bulldozing (we know… easier said than done)
And yes—sometimes counselors are overworked, burned out, or under-trained. But don’t give up after one experience. Ask to speak with the school psychologist, a dean, or an assistant principal if you need to escalate concerns.
When School Support Isn’t Enough
There are limits to what schools can offer. Sometimes your child needs more than weekly check-ins or classroom accommodations. That’s where outside support becomes essential:
Therapy to work on anxiety, trauma, ADHD, or self-esteem
Parent coaching to help you manage communication, boundaries, and burnout
Mentorship if your teen isn’t connecting with traditional therapy or teachers
Case management to coordinate care across school, family, and providers
At Bridge the Gap, we specialize in supporting families like yours. Families who are stuck, stressed, and just want to know how to help their kid without walking on eggshells.
Help is Available
The school counselor might not be the whole solution—but they’re a really good place to start. If your kid is struggling and you’re not sure what to do, don’t wait for a crisis. Reach out. Ask questions. Use the resources available. And if you feel like you’ve hit a wall with the school—or just need more support on your end—we’re here.
Schedule a free consultation or visit Bridge the Gap Services for more info
You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to be willing to show up and ask for help. And if no one’s told you this yet today: you’re doing better than you think.
